02-11-2009
Flayed alive...
I was asked if I had slept well, but I was awake dreaming that T. slept with AIDS sick guys. A nightmare. A nightmare because he sheat on me and that it was sealing. I was all returned. But I said nothing, or rather, I said yes, thank you, I slept well. And then I said I'm in divorce proceedings. And the same person said there are events like this that destroy entire lives, divorce, bereavement, etc.. I had not cried so far. I wondered if I had a face devastated to be told that without knowing me. And slowly I felt
warm and comforting tears running down my face, gently dig a path to my
mouth when I felt the bitter taste death come against my lips. I wiped his eyes, rubbing my
sleeves on my face, in strong sniffing, saying it is ok, what does not
kill stronger, but I force myself squarely.
I went and looked for a donut, I heard he was flayed alive ... and the discussion stopped short when I arrived.
After I left with Lily, we started north on a highway almost at random.He wanted to see the ocean, me I needed a change of scenery. In Venice Beach, there was so much wind we decided to go north to Malibu or Santa Barbara. In his convertible I said we are a nice fag couple, no? I
had the feet on the dashboard and tried to decipher my map of LA I was
happy, as if I were in a bubble a little magic, far from everything,
away from my tears and my bitterness . But I knew it was fake. Eating a apple driffter and a capucino at Starbucks West Santa Monica, I said I misunderstood me inside and I cried. Lily said and you will be pleased with the next, you see. But I knew we could not lie forever, that the next will
be like all the others, one day it cracked, and it has redoubled my
tears.
Commentaires
Poster un commentaire
Rétroliens
URL pour faire un rétrolien vers ce message :
http://www.canalblog.com/cf/fe/tb/?bid=26224&pid=12492583
Liens vers des weblogs qui référencent ce message :